by Laura Curran

Janet and Rob (not their real names) entered our doors in a state of complete shock, having learned only hours ago that their 16-year-old daughter was pregnant. Angry, disappointed, and overwhelmed, they were grieving the loss of the idyllic future they had envisioned for their daughter.

Every day at Pregnancy Center Plus (PCPlus), we minister to scared teenagers who find themselves pregnant, but often overlooked in this scenario are the parents, like Janet and Rob, who just discovered their daughter/son is expecting. Some suspected their child was pregnant but ignored the signs. Others who considered themselves “pro-life” might find themselves questioning whether abortion is the best option. In such an emotionally charged situation, rational thinking can be difficult, and reactions often precede thoughtful responses.

We specialize in helping parents cope with the sudden news that they are grandparents. We are there to help them navigate the situation and take the next best steps to help their teenager. Over a warm cup of coffee, we share these insights:

You’re Not Alone

Thank you for being here with your child. Many teenagers come to us feeling completely isolated. Your daughter likely took a huge leap of faith to confide in you.

Take a Breath, Say a Prayer for Guidance, and Stay Calm

Your initial reaction will be something she remembers for a long time. Your response in these first days will significantly impact how she handles this situation moving forward.

Acknowledge Her Feelings

Just as your world feels like it’s crumbling, she is likely overwhelmed with guilt and the fear of disappointing you.

Listen Without Judgment

Give her the space to talk openly. Ask her how she feels and what she needs from you right now.

Offer Unconditional Support

Avoid blaming or criticizing. Instead, focus on offering your unwavering love and support.

Become Informed

PCPlus is here to educate her about the life growing inside her. We offer a wide range of free services throughout pregnancy and beyond, including ultrasounds, prenatal care referrals, parenting classes, maternity clothes, baby supplies, nutritional and psychological counseling, life coaching, and more.

Consider Adoption

Adoption is a very loving option that we can help her explore through our on-site adoption agency. We encourage you to keep an open mind about this choice.

A Bright Future is Still Possible

While life has certainly changed, your daughter can still have a productive and successful future. Finishing school and pursuing a career remain within reach.

Process Your Own Emotions

It’s important to work through your feelings with a trusted adult friend, pastor, family member, or therapist. This allows you to process your emotions without burdening your daughter, who is already dealing with a lot.

This is not your fault. Your daughter’s pregnancy does not define you as a bad parent.

Abortion

While abortion may seem like the “solution” to her current situation, this only adds another set of long-term problems to her plate. Whether you encourage her to have an abortion or fail to dissuade her from having one, she will likely blame you when the guilt, depression, and realization of what she has done begin to weigh on her.

Time to Prepare

There is plenty of time to make medical, financial, and educational decisions. You have several months to prepare for the baby. Our greatest blessings are often just on the other side of our greatest fears; your grandchild will bring unimaginable joy to your daughter and your family.

Rooted in the God-given dignity of each human life beginning at fertilization, Pregnancy Center Plus assists those who face difficulties arising from an untimely pregnancy, offers life- affirming alternatives to abortion, and promotes chastity. PCPlus is a 501(c)3 charitable organization. All services are free and confidential. For more information, go to SupportPCPplus.org. ✣

Laura Curran is the Executive Director of Pregnancy Center Plus.