From childhood, I felt called to be an artist. I wanted to make things—but not just any things. I wanted to create things that last, because I believed that the best art long outlives the artist. I believed that if the work of my hands didn’t matter, then surely I didn’t matter.

So I worked hard, determined to prove my worth. But I found that there was no room in my day for both my plans and God’s plans. The loud, persistent call for achievement and validation drowned out the subtle voice of the Spirit telling me that I was already enough.

My daughter Jane is five years old. She was born with a tenacity that challenges our household to evaluate (and reevaluate) how we order our days. Every morning before I leave for work she asks me if I will come home early. Jane does not judge me by the quality or quantity of photographs I take or videos I produce. In fact, she would prefer that I work less altogether. My value to Jane lies in being with Jane.

When Jesus visits the home of Martha and Mary, Martha works while Mary sits with Him. “Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.’ The Lord said to her in reply, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her’” (Luke 10:40-42). I know that so often, when I choose to worry about work, I choose the lesser part.

I am grateful to work as an artist as a means of providing for my family. I do believe that God’s hand has mercifully guided me, despite my earthly distractions. But my vocation as a wife and mother has changed my heart over the last eight years. I’ve learned that my yearning for perfection, for eternity, is a yearning for God. But I’ve also learned that the anxiety that keeps me from being present with my family is not from God. My husband and children have taught me that my work does not determine my worth.

Jane’s tenacity has yet to cure me of my iniquities, although I trust that she won’t stop trying. Like Martha, I have looked into the face of God and told Him what I need Him to do in order to fulfill my plans. I have heard Jane’s plea for me to come home early, and then still come home late and distracted by the work left undone. I remain an imperfect person, anxious and worried about many things.

But there is need for only one thing. Today I choose to sit with Jane, to bring Christ to her. That is the better part. And it will not be taken from me.

Margaret Swensen

[email protected]