By Susan Bergman 

There is a quiet rhythm to Erma’s House. On the surface, the work appears simple… rooms are prepared, toys are rotated, and schedules are followed. Children arrive, visits take place, and families leave. Yet, behind that steady routine sits something much deeper.

Erma’s House in Dayton serves families navigating some of life’s most difficult circumstances, often shaped by conflict, instability, and uncertainty. For more than 28 years, it has provided supervised visitation and safe exchanges where children can spend time with their parents in a structured, supportive environment.

Each step is thoughtfully designed to reduce stress and protect everyone involved, with separate arrivals, staggered timing, and trained staff guiding interactions with consistency and care. Much of that structure occurs behind the scenes, so children experience something simpler: a welcoming space where they can begin to rebuild connection.

As Program Manager MaryPat Zengel explained, “We have to meet families where they are. Every situation is different, but the goal is always the same, to support the child and give that relationship a chance to grow.”

No two visits look the same. Some children arrive eager, while others are hesitant, unsure of what this visit will bring. Staff and volunteers are trained to recognize the mix of anxiety, confusion, and fear children commonly carry and to respond with patience and understanding.

Before visits begin, these supporters help each child settle in, walking through the space together or offering reassurance in a way the child can understand. Children receive a code word to signal the monitor when they need a break or additional support. It is a small but meaningful reminder that, even in an unfamiliar situation, their voice still matters.

The purpose of Erma’s House extends beyond supervision, creating space for trust to grow over time. Zengel recalled when one father began visiting his young daughter after a separation, but she had no memory of him and was understandably hesitant. Rather than rush the process, he met her where she was, speaking gently and allowing the relationship to develop at her pace. With consistency, the visits changed. What started as distance gradually became comfort and connection. Over time, their visits were filled with play and laughter, and the man who had once been a stranger in her eyes became “Daddy.”

Much of that transformation is made possible through the steady presence of staff and volunteers. They create an environment that is calm, consistent, and free of judgment, where rules are applied fairly and parents are treated with dignity. This supportive role requires patience, strong boundaries, and a deep understanding of how trauma can affect a child.

As volunteer Theresa Ross Grant shared, the work calls for “a calm presence and a genuine care for the families,” a combination often  as important as the structure itself. Volunteers undergo extensive training and remain with the same families over time, helping build trust that children can rely on.

Erma’s House is named after Dayton native Erma Bombeck, whose writing reflected both the beauty and complexity of family life. While the situations families face here are often heavy, the work is rooted in a belief that family relationships, even strained ones, are worth nurturing with care and intention. Bombeck’s words continue to resonate that mission: “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’”

As part of Catholic Social Services of the Miami Valley, Erma’s House reflects a broader commitment to protecting children and strengthening families. “I can see directly the impact our center has on families, and it fills my cup,” Zengel said.

The need for these services continues to grow—there is a waitlist for families seeking support. Even so, the focus remains the same. Each visit is an opportunity to provide stability, support connection, and offer a sense of peace in situations that often feel anything but peaceful.

At its core, the work of Erma’s House echoes a belief deeply rooted in the Catholic faith: the strength of the family nucleus is not defined by perfection but by a commitment to love, even in difficult circumstances. By creating a space where children feel safe and relationships can be rebuilt, what was once lost can be restored.