For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Mt. 16:25)

“Your life is not about you,” our pastor said with a chuckle as he began his homily. “Sorry to disappoint.”

I nodded in solemn understanding from the vestibule. With a fussy baby on one hip and a willful toddler tethered by an arm, plus two more boys sitting with my husband, I was aware that my life wasn’t about me.

It’s a tendency we Christians are called to correct our whole lives. I know well that things go south when I place myself at the center; but to place Christ there and serve Him through serving others is unexpected bliss.

The holiday season is upon us, my friends; at a time when we quietly delight in simple indulgences, presents, and wishes fulfilled, there’s no better time to recall this and recognize what life is supposed to be: an imitation of Jesus’ generosity, mercy, and love. What infuses life with meaning is when you give it away.

Ten years ago, I experimented with a shift from clinging to my own wants to loving the person in front of me simply because he or she belonged to Christ. For two weeks leading up to my birthday, I performed thirty acts of kindness that were simple enough to do with kids in tow, but effective enough to transform my heart. Through it, I saw how easy and joyful it is to give when I spend my life for others.

For my husband, I left notes where he would find them, took small tasks off his full plate, encouraged him to go out with friends, and put away my phone when it was just he and I. In two weeks, I saw a peace in him that I hadn’t seen before. He felt supported and loved, and it changed the way he interacted with the kids and with me.

I hid notes for the kids, too, though most were little pictures because they weren’t readers yet. I surprised them with a trip to their favorite park one day and donuts on another. And I said “yes” to more games, books, and playing outside. In two weeks, bickering decreased and even bedtimes became easier.

Around town, I did the classic “pay for the person behind you” move in the drive-through, which was especially good for humility since I couldn’t see the person’s reaction or receive their thanks. It was refreshing to love and let go! I also watched my friend’s kids to give her a break, handed out $5 gift cards to strangers, and surprised my Bible study with fresh confections.

After two weeks, I was able to receive kindness from others more fully, now recognizing the gift of self they offered. On my birthday, I didn’t wake expecting to receive anything. I treated myself to my favorite breakfast and went right along with our family’s rhythm. In calling me to generosity and living for others, the Lord purified my heart.

Here’s the point: Giving is a blessing from the Father, an imitation of Jesus Christ, and an act prompted by the Holy Spirit. Being made in the image and likeness of God, self- giving and generosity are written into our identity. It’s natural to us! In the next several weeks of plans, parties, recipes, and shopping, I encourage you to let go of your own will and make a practice of seeking to delight someone else. The certain result will be a more grateful Thanksgiving that could be relaxing. Christmas will be merrier, and in between the two, you’ll have peace and calm as opposed to frenzied preparation. It’s both humbling and marvelous how the Lord uses us to brighten the lives of others, while simultaneously bringing us to change. ✣

Katie Sciba is a national speaker and Catholic Press Award-winning columnist. She and her husband Andrew were married in 2008, and are blessed with seven children.

This article appeared in the November 2025 edition of The Catholic Telegraph Magazine. For your complimentary subscription, click here.