Even for the greatest saints, people can be challenging to work and live with. Why else would God command us to “love one another?” While we can live with “iron sharpening iron” as some distant concept, when our souls are being grazed by the willpower, hearts and intellects of others, we can feel irritated or angry. We may even ask God for deliverance from the person who is unbearable.

Not all communities, workplaces and families are challenging. Still, two things are certainly true: there is no such thing as a perfect community, workplace or family on this side of Heaven, and they all carry their own unique issues and circumstances.

My father’s stories about the construction sites he frequented as a carpenter included sites that could be challenging—yes, physically, but also socially—even for seasoned carpenters. Workers were sometimes harsh, ungenuine, spiteful, vulgar, envious and vengeful. Some were passive aggressive, while others were outright aggressive. Such workplace environments can send us into chronic depression or place a heavy load on families. What’s the key to enduring this?

I think any handyman you encounter will tell you the same thing: “It’s just the world we live in,” “Take the blows and keep going” or even, “The world isn’t sunshine and rainbows.” But there is often deeper, more profound advice if you push them, and I gleaned four pieces of wisdom from the handymen I have been blessed to know in my life.

1. “First comes first.” When faced with workplace challenges, handymen recall their priorities: God, their wives, children, families, community and These priorities guide their decisions each day, and keep them from choosing what would ultimately jeopardize their priority relationships.
2. “Choose your battles wisely.” This may sound dismissive, but there’s wisdom here: Life isn’t about us. Sometimes, when facing unjust circumstances, it’s in everyone’s best interest to let things go—we can’t win every battle, so why waste time and energy fighting the little ones? We aren’t always going to get along with every person. Misunderstandings happen, mistakes too, and sometimes there are bigger issues at play that have absolutely nothing to do with us. We should always strive to be humble, gentle, kind and loving in spite of it all. When handymen face these issues, they recall their priorities, understand their limitations, pray and choose their battles wisely.
3. “Keep it simple.” When stewing in a challenging environment, it can be tempting to fall into paranoia or unloving conclusions. The simpler explanations for off- putting interactions are typically the correct ones. For example, when one coworker has a blunt response to another, the complicated, uncharitable explanation could be, “They don’t like my idea. They must hate me.” But the simpler explanation is more likely, “They probably have something going on outside of work.” If something more sinister is happening, do we not trust God’s promise of justice? Let Christ handle it.
4. “Let your word mean ” It can be challenging to say, “No.” We long to make a difference in the world and to help others. A handyman, though, recognizes that he isn’t capable of doing everything. Yet, desiring to care for others, he lets “his yes mean yes, and his no mean no,” with compassion and patience toward others.

Some handymen might seem gruff, harsh or unloving, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. These men have endured physically, spiritually and socially challenging environments. That they still desire to care for others is a testament to their character. They might have thick skin, but behind their calloused hands is a softened, Christ-like heart with a magnanimous capacity for true love.

Trenton Scroggins is the Director of Digital Engagement for the Archdiocese of Cincinnati. [email protected]

This article appeared in the December 2023 edition of The Catholic Telegraph Magazine. For your complimentary subscription, click here.