Christian Anthropology | Andrew J. Sodergren, M.T.S., Psy.D.

Note: This article is part of an ongoing series on Pope St. John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body.”

For Part One click here

We have been following Pope St. John Paul II’s meditations on the Letter to the Ephesians in which St. Paul draws an analogy between Christ’s relationship with the Church and the relationship between Christian spouses in marriage. As we previously discussed, this analogy ought not be taken too literally as the relationship between Christ and the Church differs from the relationship among spouses in very significant ways, since Christ is the divine Creator, Savior, and head of the Church, whereas the relationship between spouses in Christian marriage is a relationship between two persons of equal dignity.

Indeed, before exhorting wives to be subject to their husbands, St. Paul exhorts all Christian spouses to “be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph 5:21). As we began to explore last time, Pope St. John Paul II believed that the submission described by St. Paul is “not one-sided submission” but mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. In order to understand Christian marriage and Pope St. John Paul II’s teaching on the mutual submission of spouses rightly, we must keep in mind that when we are baptized, we are incorporated into Christ who comes to dwell within us, making us Christians (i.e., “little Christs”).

Consider what the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) teaches us about the sacrament of marriage: “According to the Latin tradition, the spouses as ministers of Christ’s grace mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony by expressing their consent before the Church” (CCC, no. 1623). This matrimonial consent “consists in a ‘human act by which the partners mutually give themselves to each other’” (CCC, no. 1627). Notice that it is the spouses who are the ministers of the Sacrament of Matrimony, which they confer on each other through their mutual gift of self, expressed through their free consent and consummation. Indeed, as Pope St. John Paul II taught, “marriage is realized through a reciprocal gift, which is also a mutual submission,” and “Christ is the source and … model of that submission” (TOB, 89.4). When a Christian man and Christian woman make a spousal gift of self, they give and receive Christ dwelling in each other and cooperate with Him who makes their union sacramental and indissoluble. Thus, both husband and wife are Christ to one another.

Awareness that one’s spouse belongs to Christ and has Christ dwelling within, should awaken a profound reverence for him/her that penetrates every aspect of the marital relationship. The traditional term for this reverence is “pietas” or fear of the Lord, which involves awe and wonder for all that is sacred. It is this reverence or pietas for Christ dwelling in Christian spouses that motivates their mutual submission: “Such pietas, which springs from the profound consciousness of the mystery of Christ, must constitute the basis of the reciprocal relations between the spouses” (TOB, 89.1). Pope St. John Paul II went on to teach that such awareness of Christ dwelling in the other “must be spiritually present in the reciprocal relation of the spouses … penetrating their hearts, kindling in them that holy ‘fear of Christ’ (i.e., pietas) … [and] must lead them to ‘be subject to one another’” (TOB, 89.2).

By submitting to my spouse, I am submitting myself to Christ. By reverencing my spouse, I am reverencing Christ. This does not mean that spouses cannot speak up about maltreatment or express personal wishes and desires with the reasonable expectation that they will be heard and appropriately considered. This teaching on mutual submission also leaves up to the discernment of each couple how they will go about making decisions together, including models in which one spouse consistently defers to the other, perhaps due to having greater knowledge or expertise in a particular area. Rather, as we will reflect on further next time, mutual submission refers primarily to how Christian spouses love each other, modeling their love on Christ’s spousal love for the Church that led Him to lay down His life to redeem and sanctify her.

Dr. Andrew Sodergren is a Catholic psychologist and director of psychological services for Ruah Woods. He speaks on the integration of
psychology and the Catholic faith. He and his wife, Ellie, have five children.

This article appeared in the February 2026 edition of The Catholic Telegraph Magazine. For your complimentary subscription, click here.