“From the fullness of the heart, the mouth speaks.” —Luke 6:45

No sin has been so shameful for me to confess, so mortifying for me to contemplate, than gossip. It’s been in my worst moments that I’ve actively disparaged someone or passively smiled as others spoke slander. When I myself gossip, I feel like Judas; when I casually listen, I feel like pre-conversion Paul who stood by “consenting to [Stephen’s] execution” (Acts 8:1).

A priest once told me that gossip is the murder of character. He didn’t believe that most people even feel good when they gossip—they just experience the dark relief of submitting to anger or fear. Anyone who believes in the God of Love revealed in Jesus Christ knows we are called to something higher. That’s what makes gossip so disturbing: it lacks the compassion of Christ. Where there is no compassion, there is no love; and where there is no love, there is only death: “Their throats are open graves; they deceive with their tongues; the venom of asps is on their lips” (Rm. 3:13).

Why do people like me gossip if we know it’s wrong? One reason is ignorance, whether feigned or genuine. Surely, we reason, not all conversations about other people can be sinful. So, we excuse ourselves. It becomes more difficult to make excuses, however, once we have a firm grasp of Church teaching around gossip. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that “respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury” (CCC 2477). Gossip specifically involves (1) rash judgments, assuming someone’s moral failings without sufficient evidence; (2) detraction, unnecessarily revealing someone’s genuine faults to those who wouldn’t otherwise know; or (3) calumny, harming someone’s reputation by sharing falsehoods.

By contrast, legitimate conversations about others always involve discretion and charity. They have no intention of harming reputations, derive no pleasure from pointing out faults, and accurately depict the full situation being discussed. They are conducted thoughtfully and at appropriate times, with compassionate confidants who share a sincere interest in resolving the issue.

The solution to gossip, unlike some other vices, isn’t moderation but total refusal. Avoiding it requires constant vigilance over our hearts, minds, and tongues. When speaking negatively about others, we often “justify” our remarks, even though gossip is inherently unjustifiable. We quickly forget the times we ourselves have gossiped, but readily recall when we’ve been gossiped about. And we rarely recognize that the person gossiping with us today may very well gossip about us tomorrow. Indeed, we can even fall into the trap of gossiping about the gossiper.

When we have a legitimate concern about someone’s behavior, we may need to speak to others about it. Jesus teaches us how to handle these situations without falling into gossip: first approach the person in question privately, then involve trustworthy witnesses if the issue persists, and finally, seek higher authority if needed (cf. Mt. 18:15-17).

What do we do if someone gossips in our presence? I used to think the virtuous response was silent disapproval—remaining stone-faced and staring the gossiper in the eye. But there’s a problem with this approach: you may not be willing to gossip yourself, but are you willing to passively watch someone damage their own soul and another’s reputation? Yet, it is the rare person who speaks up, because we’re all afraid of being the “odd man out,” and we don’t want to give others a reason to gossip about us. We want our friends, coworkers, and acquaintances to like us. But are we really being good friends or faithful Christians if we don’t even offer a word of correction in the face of sin?

No, Christ calls us to speak up courageously— perhaps by reminding others that everyone has struggles or by firmly defending the absent person. Jesus tells us not to be afraid in these situations, and promises that the Holy Spirit will guide our words (cf. Lk. 12:11-12). Others may see you as boring or self-righteous for speaking up, making you an easy target for sharp words when you’re absent. Yet, Jesus lovingly encourages us with this radical beatitude: “Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude and insult you… on account of the Son of Man” (Lk. 6:22). The temporary relief gained by gossiping is nothing compared to the peace that Jesus gives, and it is only the gossiper who is being self- righteous—exploiting the defects of others so that he may stand on a pedestal above them.

At the Last Supper, Jesus gave us a new commandment: to love one another as He loved us (Jn. 13:34). Gossip directly contradicts this commandment, rendering our love of God hollow. How can we genuinely love God if we simultaneously curse those made in His image (cf. Jas. 3:9-10)? Speaking with Christ in our hearts means letting every word flow from His merciful love. This love heals wounds, covering them with compassionate care rather than deepening them with rash judgment. The God who first loved us calls us to generously share that same love with others. Therefore, let us choose words that build each other up, affirming each person’s dignity and strengthening our shared journey toward holiness.

Colin Rahill is the Director of Digital Engagement for the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, as well as a writer and speaker.

This article appeared in the July 2025 edition of The Catholic Telegraph Magazine. For your complimentary subscription, click here.